Secrets

I would like to claim fearlessness.
I want to reassure the world
That I have turned over the rock
That is locked away in my deep heart,
Turned the dirt and revealed it all.
I wish to be brave. I want to wade
Through the days of trembling hurt
And arrive at the other side,
To stand astride the cold stream
And chant the rosary of being undone.

We have but one chance to shed
The husk that binds us to our sins--
But the secret is that our shell will slide
Slick from our skins, in our sleep,
While we whimper, unaware.

There is no unlocking prayer,
No epiphany. The truth leaks
Through the chancel drop-by-drop,
And we speak it as if by rote.
My power of candor has one note:
I claim the courage that is my right--
It settles in my ears at night--
You hear only what rises to the top.

EJR